Happy Holidays to you and yours.

- The Smiths

Baby Smith Update!

We had an amniocentesis done on December 7th because the results of the baby's nuchal lucency screen were questionnable. (They were in the normal range, but not by much.) The amnio was a little scary and somewhat painful, but NOTHING compared to labor. Both the baby and I came through it well and we had no complications at all. We finally got the official results back this morning and all is well. We also found out that we are having a baby girl! Jonathan isn't too thrilled about the prospect of a sister, but I'm sure he'll get over it.

We have tentatively picked a name--Alaena Jeanette--but we haven't made the official call yet. We are a little disappointed that we couldn't come up with a "J" name, but we felt that it was more important to give her a name we like instead. Jeff isn't too sure about the spelling of Alaena because he says she'll always have to be telling people how to spell it. I can understand why he might feel that way because he rarely has to spell his name for anyone, but I don't have much sympathy for him because most everyone I know has to spell at least their first or last name. Heck, I used to have to spell my maiden name constantly because it is so uncommon where I grew up and that there are about 100 different spellings of it to begin with. So I think my spelling of "Alaena" may just win out...

We'll keep you updated if anything major happens between now and her due date (May 23rd). Thanks for sharing in our exciting news with us!

Baby James

I feel compelled to write a little bit about the baby I lost this past summer. I have spoken about Baby Smith and Jonathan, so I only feel it is fair to introduce you to our Baby James. (This may seem morbid or too private for public consumption to some of you, but this is how I deal with my grief.) I will not go into all of the details of Baby James's short life because it was quite an ordeal, but, to summarize, his heart rate was too slow and he wasn't growing as rapidly as expected. My beta Hcg levels were also not increasing like they should. After our 6-week ultrasound, we were told that we had a 50/50 chance of losing the baby; then, after our subsequent ultrasound we were told that we would lose the baby. However, at the 9-week ultrasound, his heart rate had jumped up to normal and the OB told us there was an 80/20 chance that he would make it. About 1 1/2 weeks later I went in for another ultrasound and the baby had died. Based on the size of the baby, it appears that he died a day or so after the last ultrasound that indicated he would likely survive. Jeff and I were devastated to say the least. I was able to have a D & C later that day to remove the baby and my physical recovery was surprisingly quick; however, the emotional recovery is still continuing.

It's been almost 5 months since we lost Baby James and, while I am able to talk about him without crying, I still, on occassion, become overwhelmed with sadness for our loss. We chose not to do genetic testing on James, but my gut tells me that he was a boy, so that's why I refer to him as a male. We also chose to name him James because, of course, it starts with a "J", but also because my mother's father was named James. He died when my mom was 2 years old, so she never had a chance to know him. He was reportedly one of the most decent men to ever step foot on this earth, so I have always wondered what he was like and wished I could have had the chance to be a part of his short life. So, I felt it only appropriate to name my baby James because I will always wonder who he could have been: who he would have looked like, what type of personality he would have, what his voice would have sounded like, etc. I felt that giving my baby the name James would be the most appropriate honor I could bestow on the two greatest men I will never know.

(My grandfather is second from the left in the above photo. He has dark, wavy hair and glasses and is standing between the two older men.)

Update on Jonathan

I just wanted to give you a brief update on Jonathan's life: He will be 4 years old on December 5th and he is keeping us on our toes! He is extremely verbal and he has quite an analytical mind. He loves to take things apart and, on occasion, put them back together. He also loves to build things with his "Papa" (Jeff's dad) and watch "How Its Made" on The Science Channel. He is attending preschool two days a week where he is learning his letters and how to write his name. He is also getting involved in politics! The above picture shows Jonathan, our Governor (Phil Bredesen) and me at a press conference on the restaurant smoking ban that was enacted on October 1st. A friend of mine who helped lobby for the bill asked me to speak at the ceremony because Jonathan had an asthma attack in a non-smoking section of a restaurant one time. (We weren't aware that he was asthmatic at the time, otherwise we would have never taken him into a restaurant where smoking was allowed. However, until the ban, non-smoking restaurants were almost non-existent here in Tennessee. Sad, but true.)

Jonathan is excited about his new baby brother or sister, but he's having a hard time understanding that the baby will be here in 6 months, not next week. A few weeks ago he told me that, when the baby is born "next week", he is going to take it out to California (presumably to see his Grandmother and Grandaddy--my parents). I thought that was very sweet. I hope he continues to be that sweet after the baby is born!

Baby Smith 12-Week Ultrasound

We had our nuchal lucency screen done on Baby Smith yesterday--he/she was not very cooperative during the ultrasound session. I was not aware that the test required 3 very precise, and difficult to obtain, measurements of the baby. It took over an hour for the ultrasound tech to finally get everything measured because the baby kept falling asleep in the "wrong" position. I actually started feeling somewhat guilty because my child wasn't being cooperative--isn't it funny, and sad, how maternal guilt kicks in so quickly? It's especially ridiculous considering I had absolutely no control over my fetus's behavior. Oh well, such is a mother's life...By the way, I posted this picture because I am just fascinated by how the baby's brain is already forming into left and right hemispheres, etc. Kind of creepy looking, but I still think it's amazing!